Xtreme Sunday Roast

I’ve just returned from a morning of volunteer work kitchen mayhem. Luckily it wasn’t in my kitchen! The day started innocently apart from the mountains of food that needed to be chopped, fried, roasted, cooked, mashed, steamed, marinated etc. as usual. Within the first ten minutes we had the first ‘casualty’ shouting for the first aid kit. Five minutes later, the second person needed plastering up: ‘Bloody Mangoes’. Then, a newbie came in late, got dressed and… hit the fire alarm button mistaking it for a door opener. D’oh! The alarms started screaming with the power of a deranged DJ plus full sound system wanting to put on a rave at the wrongest time of day. So what now? Nobody had the keys for the silencers. The fire brigade couldn’t silence the alarms. And the person who had the keys seemed to be away on a bank holiday outing. And disabling the alarms would be against the law, so I wasn’t able to get my bicycle toolkit out to unscrew things. While I debated whether to disable the bloody things anyway, another knife casualty – so much for the vegetarian special. But nothing put us off today – we worked on with improvised ear-plugs for four hours until we had everybody’s dinner ready. And I mean nothing, because to top it all off, somebody got a really bad knife injury and nearly fainted, so she had to rest for a good hour before being able to move about again. Ah, and I did not count the burns…. When I left the place, the alarms were still ringing. At least we had some spare pudding!

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